Lux Aeterna - Part 1 (excerpt) (ENG)

26. BC – Ancient Rome – Part 1

It was a hot night. Not only outside under a starry sky blending with the twinkling lights of Rome at the height of its glory, but a fire was blazing inside of me as well. I burned like a bonfire, and maybe that's why the room was so steamy. I was splashing in the hot water of the baths, and I saw the Praetorian security as just a part of this luxurious charade. They weren't interesting in any way, not even just those incredulous stares. The interesting one here was me. I was eye-to-eye with Caesar Augustus himself, with no hint of divine or even imperial respect for him. He didn't seem to mind. He looked pensive and yet smiled at me the way two foxes smile at each other when they meet by chance in the middle of the forest. However, this was far from accidental. I know everything about him.

"The red mist sweeping through the streets of Rome..." He muttered under his nose, measuring me with his eagle gaze, "Eyes like Egyptian gold, zeal for battle like Mars and the face of Venus..."

"Let's mention Mercury and the whole pantheon," I joked, but that earned me a scandalized look. Superstitious Romans, "And they don't bow to anyone," I added to the riddle.

"Don't tease me so much anymore," he pulled me to him. I jumped a little when I realized how close we were. He didn't seem to notice. Good for me. I'd come to have fun, and truthfully I wasn't disappointed. That eager sparkle in his eyes was priceless. He was longing to know the answer to my riddle, and I wanted to reveal it to him the later I could. Everything was going exactly according to plan. I love people, that greed for time and knowledge.

"Does perhaps the wisest citizen of the state need a clue?" I playfully leaned closer to him until we were almost touching. He was tense as a string. A sultry silence reigned between us and our eye contact intensified. He had interesting eyes, too. Experienced, yet I could see a pinch of doubt in them. Wrinkles appeared on Octavian's forehead, but they disappeared in a puff of steam. He was too proud to acknowledge my superiority. I brought my lips to his ear. He felt threatened, like a gazelle on the prairie surrounded by a pack of wild animals. "Folk call him the Red Lion," I whispered. He pushed me away from his body with a stony face. Had he heard of me? He should have.

We just sat next to each other for a while. He's probably wondering why I'm even here and why he's even treating me like a close person when we've only met today. Everyone tells me I have a friendly personality. It always makes me laugh. It's not a personality, it's a curse.

"Who are you?" He asked again when we touched shoulders.

"I'm the one who follows success and after that comes the fall," I rested my head on his shoulder. Fatigue was slowly overcoming me. He continued to sit like a cold marble statue, but internally he was trembling. I know he'll figure it out. Everyone gets it, unless they're completely dumb. Honestly, I like this mortal. Is there any point in dragging it out any further? "I am pride and I am flame, I am not a god, but I am no less than Mars or Venus either. I am the Morning Star. The illumination that lives in the darkness of the underworld. Who am I?"

It finally dawned on him.

"Aren't you the one who advises Septimus Quint so well? For you live in Senator Quint's house! Livius? Lucius?" I lifted my head from his shoulder and pierced him with my gaze. That amused expression of his was like a dagger in the back.

Again. Why do they associate me with that old fool? Yeah, we have a contract, he provided me with a roof over my head upon my arrival in Rome, but I'm not his servant that they have to associate me with him! I'm capable of taking care of myself! And anyway, it is Quintus who lives on my gold, not I on his. He gave me his soul for it. He's just an idiot who refuses to listen to me.

"Lucifer. My name is Lucifer, dammit!" never remember my name, "Anyway, I don't want my association with Septimus Quint to endanger and degrade my career ambitions. I think you, Caesar, are intelligent enough to have already discovered what I'm up to. I'm fast, I'm smart, I fit in... I'd rather advise you than that old drunk," I confessed with a sigh. He's totally ruining my reputation.

Octavianus mused.

"I'll think about it later," he said. I understand that he won't accept every passing stranger who offers his services. Anything could happen. I might as well stab a dagger through his heart right now... Well, not a dagger, I don't have one on me, but I could break his ligaments if I wanted to. Those soldiers all around wouldn't have time to blink and I'd be up in smoke. Or, purely theoretically, I could play some game for the superstitious and take over the entire Roman Empire, including the provinces. But I won't do that. That's not an honorable way to become famous. Demonstrating your abilities among mortals just for the sake of worship is unfair and often atrocity. I learned that a long time ago. And firsthand, you might say.

"You will not regret this. Trust me, it's good to have the likes of me on your side. I have contacts in high places," I winked. He sized me up suspiciously again. He's prudent. Too much for my taste.

I got out of the water and got dressed. He was still thinking about my offer. Maybe he was wondering who I was and what kind of high-level contacts I was talking about.

"Let me know tomorrow after the Senate meeting. Quintus will be useless again, so I'll be there screaming for him," my stomach nearly flipped at the thought of tomorrow.

"Living in his shadow must be like a punishment, huh?" Octavianus laughed, looking down at me.

"I've been living in the shadows since the beginning, but Septimus Quintus is not one of my curses," I grinned, buckling my sword belt, of course I wrapped my whip around it, " It is me that is his nightmare."

I thought about it the whole way home. It would be exciting to become Caesar's counselor. I'd have the whole empire under my watch, and maybe I'd even have a say in politics. I walked along outside, not so cheerfully now, greeting the night watchmen with indifference. I was taking my time. I didn't want to go home, even though my eyes were already closing. Well, home. This wasn't home. It wasn't Rome, nor was it the Earth. It gets so lonely here at night, and the pretence is annoying. I miss Hell. There, no one has to pretend to trust authority and to keep their name spotless. But on the other hand, if it were that perfect, I wouldn't have come here.

From the alley I was planning to turn into, the screams of my faithful companion reached me. His footsteps were hurried. He was literally sprinting towards me. Out of the darkness emerged a frightened figure with thick black hair and hands battered with thorns. His clothes were spattered with blood.

"Master! Master, he's gone insane!" He screamed. I stopped and with a swing I pulled out my whip. It cracked noisily against the paving stones of the sidewalk. Asriel didn't flinch; on the contrary, he sped up and hid behind my back. Around my hips, he held me as tightly as he could with his clasped hands, only peeking shyly over my shoulder at another approaching figure, drunkenly shrieking insults.

"What did you do?" I asked Asriel in a hushed voice.

"Me? Why me! I have done nothing, master! He was the one who took the thorns and started beating us all to a bloody flesh! I would have defended us myself, master, but you said..."

"I said you were mine, and if he laid a hand on you I'd deal with him hand-to-hand. I said nothing about his slaves," I completed his interpretation of my statement. Perhaps I should have said something about them too. I'll say something, though, just as soon as the drunken idiot gets here.

"You dirty goatskin, get back here! Now!" He barked at the entire street. It's a good thing the Romans don't build houses with windows facing the street, or I might have said goodbye to a career with Caesar for good. He caught sight of me pretty quickly, and at that moment he remained standing stiffly in front of us. I could smell the fear on Asriel's grip. His trembling told me that I shouldn't hold back today.

"Sir, I'll explain..." I didn't give him the chance. Cruelty is not a good excuse, and I know full well what Septimus Quintus is. I lashed the whip straight at his hand, which was clutching the thorns. With a cry he dropped it and sank to his knees, "You bastard! My hand..."

"As, let go of me," I spoke to my devil. I noticed that he was frightened, though I never once raised my voice at him.

"Master, please don't kill him... Please..." He tightened his grip. It was already starting to hurt.

"I won't kill him, don't worry. Just let me go. That's an order," with self-denial, he finally let me take a few steps before the parody of a human. I had no desire to look at him. Quintus, more or less just a pompous old beggar in my eyes, stared at me defiantly. It wasn't the kind of defiance I like. It was the defiance of a beaten, ragged canine who would gladly still bite the evil master's leg before he struck again. But was I ever mean to him? I never struck him. I never hurt for no reason. I notice him rising to his feet and reaching his hand to his sword. He really doesn't know when he's lost. He'd be better off surrendering and saving himself unnecessary trouble.

He swung at me, but I ducked in time, and in the meantime, I lashed his back with the whip. The screaming... He could have been a little quieter. I doubt any of his slaves or soldiers scream like that during punishment. After all, let there be a man, by Jupiter! It was only two strikes! He rolled onto all fours, but apparently that didn't deter him. He scrambled to his feet again in a drunken, sluggish motion.

" How dare you... You scalded chicken..." He hissed at me.

"I'm keeping my part of the bargain. Would it kill you to keep yours?"

"But that's not how I imagined it!" He growled, attacking me again with a clumsy lunge. All I had to do was dodge to the side. Quintus lost his balance and fell on his nose. How much had he drunk? He's getting impaled here!

"The deal was that your soul would belong to me in exchange for me keeping your status above the humiliation level. So far I'm succeeding, but you're not cooperating at all! I gave you a rule, and you're happy to break it! Damn it, that's a basic principle! You must obey your master! When I say Asriel is mine, where do you get the right to beat my servant!"

" You are not..." He growled as he rose to his feet again, "You are not my master!"

He ran at me with the urge to kill. My nerves were shattered. I whipped his face and spewed fire at him. He flared up like a torch, and the roar... Oh, the roar. It gave me a headache, but at the same time I enjoyed it. No one was going to question and embarrass me, let alone a foul drunken dirty rat.

"Master! You said you wouldn't kill him!" Asriel grabbed my forearm forcefully. I stared at him tiredly as Quintus ran around us like a stampeding sheep with red-orange wool. Asriel's eyes were filled with tears and anguish.

Where was this compassion coming from in him? The bastard had beaten him bloody, but he was still defending him. And it would save my worries as well. He wouldn't stand in my way. His son (a very nice boy and a good soldier) would take Quint's place, and he'd get what he deserves - a nice lecture from Asriel's friends in Hell.

"'Let it be nicely cooked,' I smiled. I should have punctured his lungs. My head was starting to really ache.

"No. Lucifer, please don't," the devil said more strictly. Well, could I resist those eyes? He looked like a disappointed puppy. With a sigh, I waved my hand, extinguishing the flames. They didn't just burn the victim's face, but his soul as well, so everyone down there would know he pissed me off. I walked over to the poor guy, kicked his sword away so he wouldn't try anything else, and slung him over my shoulder. He smelled like burnt meat, but I wasn't going to leave him on the street.

"You could have set the whole place on fire, just so you know," Asriel still scolded me before we went inside. As we crossed the threshold, he once again turned into a humble, obedient servant who wouldn't even cough without permission. Not to be caught out by the other house slaves.

The sight of them made me a little sick, too. Maximus, a tall and smart young man, Cassia, who reminded me a lot of my sister, and Drussus, a man who loved horses more than people, were still serving at Quintus's. Quintus bought them all cheaply at the market, and until I made a deal with him and moved in, he treated them horribly. Actually, just like he does today, but every day. Cassia was just picking shards off the ground and crying. Maximus was helping her. As soon as he saw us, he jumped to his feet and took his owner on his shoulders.

"Sir, what happened? That scream was heard all the way over here," He scouted.

"Never mind. Treat him and make him hurt, that son of a bitch," I ordered, "Asriel, come on. You took the worst of it, huh?"

The others just had scratches and bruises. Apparently, Quintus was taking out his grudge against me on my servant. It's pathetic. I don't understand why he won't talk to me like a civilized man, review our contract, and I'll calmly amend it for him. But for that I need to know what exactly bothers him. Either way, I mustn't put Asriel at risk. He's my friend. I wouldn't survive if Quintus broke free of his chains and reached for his life.

I led the devil to my room and used a wet cloth to wash the blood from his wounds. He was unusually quiet and I was uncomfortable. I have no one else here. I can only talk openly with him.

"Are you angry with me?" I asked shyly. Did I do something wrong? Apart from nearly burning down the city of Rome...

"You lied to Caesar," he muttered grumpily, hissing in pain. He flinched under the next touch around the wound and twisted straight to face me. He frowned.

I was wracked with remorse. With a sigh, I put down the rag and prepared to have a heart-to-heart talk.

"You know, by agreement, we're not supposed to interfere in the world of humans. Do you want to tempt fate? If Juno gets pissed off? You know she's a crazy woman! Or Jupiter, that thunderstorm... Or, Satan forbid, the old man? Sodom-Gomorrah, Lucifer. The Flood. No, really! Are you crazy?!" He slapped me on the cheek.

"That hurt!" I howled. My head spun and I rubbed the sore spot. I'm tired.

"Lucifer, I'm serious," he declared, holding out his hands to me. The blood on them had already dried. I picked up the cloth again and got to work. His palms and forearms were covered in scars. Asriel was used to rough treatment, but I couldn't stand to see it. Maybe I'm the only one who remembers so, but the devils think and feel as we do. Why should they be inferior? They are also excellent counselors.

"I don't give a damn if anyone takes it personally. I'm not a god, an angel, nor a demon. It's a crack in the law. I'd be foolish not to take advantage of it. Even so! Octavianus is a nice guy. Whether he takes my advice in the future is his business alone."

"As long as you've been supporting him since the Battle of Actium. A born tactician," Asriel snorted, "Just like the old one."

I wrinkled my forehead and my hands stopped moving. That one stung. Why did he keep mentioning him? Why was he comparing me to him? I looked away from his gaze. The wall was a more welcoming image to me now. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw his sudden realization of his transgression and his scolding expression change to one of regret.

"Sorry. You know I didn't mean it," he wrapped his arms around me and squeezed me tightly. I was left sitting motionless. He started rocking me from side to side, "Sorry! Come on, don't be angry! Smile at me, Luci..."

He kept trying. The movement was worse than seasickness.

"I'm not angry," I groaned, whereupon he finally let go of me and I threw myself into bed. I covered my eyes and just lay with Asriel by my side for a few minutes. A dream swept over me. I wanted to get that position next to Caesar. It's going to be more hard work, and there's another senate meeting tomorrow. Oh, damn it! I need to get some sleep for that.

"Master?" As's voice cut through me.

"Hmm?" Why doesn't he go to sleep also? It's getting late.

"Master, didn't you want to treat those hands of mine? You're not done yet."

"Sure! Hands!" I sat up abruptly. A bit too abruptly.

* * *

The pain didn't go away the next morning and it was very difficult to get out of bed. Eventually, Maximus and Asriel pulled me out of it together. Max kept harping on something about public opinion, like "what will they think if you're late" or "Caesar values punctuality, sir, you won't become a councilor that way". He was right. But with my problems, it's hard to meet all the deadlines and still pretend I'm perfectly fine. After all, the pain was chronic and had been going on for a couple of years.

"As, where's my medication?" I groaned while Max tried to adjust me into a usable form. I hate decent clothes... So uncomfortable. All unnecessary scraps of cloth everywhere and the stupid feeling of undoing a brooch or untying a knot. I want military clothes, it's much more natural.

"Here they are, sir. All three again? Your brother said they shouldn't mix," he warned me. I could see the concern in his face. I don't know which one actually works and I can't afford to fall asleep in the Senate today. Although maybe...

"This one is just sweet water, I tried it," Asriel admitted, handing me only a root from some plant in my brother's hell garden, "And the other one smells awful. Caesar wouldn't even go near you."

"Thanks, what would I do without you," I bit into the root. It stung my mouth like a whip. I contorted my face. I don't know anything more bitter than my brother's medicine, but that's why it works one hundred percent. The burning quickly went all the way down my throat. "Wait... Sweet water? Give it to me!"

I snatched the bottle of liquid from his hand and poured it all into myself. I drank so thickly that I choked and coughed. It was a stupid idea. I should have downed it more slowly. Or all at once, like I always did. "I'm going to kill you... As..." I rasped, wiping the tears from my eyes.

"So sorry, then. Your brother's a charlatan, I don't trust him. He's an enemy of Rome!" He threw up his hands. I glared at him insultingly. Politically speaking, that's true, but Beelzebub hadn't broken any rules. The Punics worshipped him of their own accord, for their own reasons. He didn't align himself with them. He helps whoever asks him for help.

"Mention that in the senate and I'll have you skinned."

With slightly frayed nerves, I staggered out of the house and Asriel and I mounted our horses. Everyone always looks back at us and wonders why I let my slave ride a horse. Well, I wouldn't let him run all the way after me on foot. It would be disgusting and illogical of me. Cassia managed to catch up to us before we left and gave us a couple of slices of bread wrapped in cloth. We also got scolded for not being able to find time for breakfast. Asriel immediately made it up to her with a kiss on the cheek. I need to think of something appropriate to my position. Plus, I'm post-breakup and engaged... I don't kiss someone that easily, unless it's for work. Plus, she's like a sister to me. I have to buy her something nice on the way. Maybe a pendant. I wish I knew what she likes. But I have Asriel for that, don't I? While I bail on the meeting instead of Quint, he can look around the markets.

Arriving at the Senate, I felt kind of nauseous. Lots of people. Same old guys in white togas, every one of them had politics and intrigue in their eyes. Besides, they peered at me suspiciously, and from every corner I heard "Rubeum leonis".

I ran my palm through my hair. Did I have it badly combed in the back again? As always teases me, that they're like a lion's mane, and that's how it came about. Without a word, I sat down in Septimus Quintus's seat and waited for this political charade to begin.

I had no interest in the actual topics of the meeting and more or less agreed with one side or the other. It was mainly about the war in the North, taxes and the distribution of money to some megalomaniac constructions of our Caesar. I also helped them with a few cogent arguments, so my vocal cords suffered as they would have in Brother Belphegor's Punishment Circles.

I kept chewing the remains of a painkilling root between my teeth, but even that did not help after several hours of sitting. I felt as if my skull were being milled in a stone grinder. By the end and after the session was over, I didn't care what those wine-soaked, dried-up old grandpas were whispering about me, and as a result, I even threw away my plan for the day. As calmly as I could, I tried to slip out into the fresh air. It went unnoticed, my slow shuffling along the wall, when there I felt a heavy palm on my shoulder. A bulge formed in my throat.

"Where are you going, Lucius?" I heard a familiar voice. I could hear him smiling.

"Ah! Your Highness... Excellency... My Lord... whatever you prefer..." I twisted on my heel towards him, scratching my hair with an uncertain laugh. The two closest guardsmen behind Octavian exchanged amused glances.

"We were supposed to meet now, after the meeting. Or have you changed your plans?"

"No, I haven't... And I'm Lucifer. Not Lucius," I was a little uneasy, "I'm just not feeling well somehow... I have a sore throat..." why lie to one another?

"Come on! Let's drown it in wine. We can talk about your proposal," I can't say no to him. He's interested. If I turn him down now, he won't even look at me again. I nod shyly.

"I prefer water," I say more quietly. A guy walked past us, mumbled something under his breath about me. I don't know what exactly, but he obviously hates me here. Instead, Octavianus threw an arm over my shoulders and led me away. He gave me no chance of escape.

"Don't tell me you don't want a place by my side anymore," he voiced his concerns as we settled into his home. He had it nice and grand, not like Quint's. The maid poured him some wine and I got a goblet as well. It would have been rude to refuse, but I really didn't feel like it. I hadn't even touched the liquid, and I was still as thirsty as I was at Rub al-Khali. I had already managed to chew the root completely from nerves. Slowly, even the sedative effects were wearing off.

"You said you had contacts in high places. What would that mean for me and what advantages would I have?" He sipped, not taking his eyes off me.

"I can't claim to sway your gods, but I can persuade creatures among gods and mortals to aid you in both small and great victories. I can provide thee with an army in time of supreme need, with wealth and good counsel from immortal oracles, and with aid in the defense and administration of the land."

"In exchange for what?" There was a twinkle in his eyes. He looks like an eagle. Proud and fearless.

"There are two options," I mused, pulling a contract from beneath a piece of useless cloth, "For your soul and service to me in Hell. Or, if you wish, we can agree on other terms satisfactory to both you and me in the end."

"That's the first option?" He pointed to the piece of papyrus in my palm, "May I read it?"

I nodded.

"Pluto and I have an agreement. Any Roman who signs an agreement with me will remain free of punishment from the gods, and instead of going to the Underworld, they will return with me to my land. The essential things about it are written out from the middle down. There are positives and negatives, job descriptions and opportunities for advancement."

"Do I have to work?" He frowned, his eyes flicking quickly to the aforementioned paragraph.

"Everyone has something different in there. You'd make an excellent authority figure."

He didn't answer, reading on.

A few minutes passed. Half an hour. An hour. I know it's a very long contract, I'll have to work on that. My eyelids heaved and my tired body slowly gave up the fight. My throat was painfully constricted with thirst. I don't want wine. I shouldn't, I don't like it... But just a sip...

I reached for the goblet. Then I realized how pale my skin was and how my muscles were trembling. I took a quick gulp and rather put it right back.

"You can lie down if you're not feeling well," Octavianus suggested, still lost in his reading and thinking.

" Thank you," I sighed exhaustedly, folding myself into the pillows. It was clear to me how inconvenient this must be, but I wouldn't let illness do the trick. I closed my eyes, but tried to keep my senses. I mustn't fall asleep, what would it look like? I mustn't fall asleep...